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So anyway, I was now a professional footballer for Sweden. They were loving it.
But we had to do the accent all night. Sexy women Seward play was tricky because as we drank more we lost a bit of concentration. Back there James turned to me and said 'Why don't you sing for the girls? They said Robbie Williams' Angels, so I sang that.
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The girls were fuming and kicked us both out. I take a girl out for dinner, buy a nice bottle of red wine.
Then we go clubbing and dance all night. They're always really surprised when they hear me play. Now factory worker Joe is at the receiving end of village gossips in rural Skelthwaite and can't get a woman to save his life.
It's a sharp contrast to his schooldays when he was Sexy women Seward play skinny geek rejected by girls. That changed when teachers persuaded him to take part in a school play - and he won top drama prize.
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